In less than two months, I hope to be competing in the pole vault at the Olympic Games in Rio. This would be my fifth and final Olympics — a unique accomplishment for a woman, one that seemed just a faint dream when I started my career almost two decades ago.
But this dream may not be fulfilled. I and my fellow track and field athletes from Russia were suspended by the International Association of Athletics Federations (I.A.A.F.) from international competition, including possibly the Olympics, after the World Anti-Doping Agency confirmed allegations of state-sponsored doping by Russian athletes. On Friday, the I.A.A.F. will be voting on whether to lift that suspension. If they uphold it, those of us who have never used banned substances will be punished for the behavior of others.
I wholeheartedly support the battle against cheats who willingly choose to breach the antidoping rules, violate the spirit of athletic competition and leave a stain on the reputation of their countries and their fellow athletes. They must be held accountable; after all, it is because of the reprehensible actions of such people that I am in this predicament, fighting for my right to compete.
I understand that the I.A.A.F. needs to take strong action to eradicate doping. But I do not think it is fair to forbid me and other clean Russian athletes to compete — athletes who have repeatedly proved they are innocent of cheating.
Indeed, over the course of nearly 20 years of competition, including throughout my four Olympic cycles, I have never failed a doping test — be it in London, China, the United States or any of the European countries where I have vaulted. I have been tested endlessly by antidoping officials around the world, and all my 28 world records were set abroad.
Since coming out of retirement after the birth of my daughter two years ago, I have devoted my life to my sport and sacrificed countless hours pushing my body for the chance to compete one last time at the Olympics. I have been trying to juggle the demands of motherhood with the demands of training. Every morning I have been waking up early to care for Yeva, my daughter, and to train, on average six hours a day. My coach suffered a stroke, but even from his hospital bed he wrote training plans for me, never giving up his hope that I would win my third gold medal in Rio.
But instead of focusing on that goal — which would further secure my place in sporting history — I have been struggling with the uncertainty of whether I can even compete in Brazil. It has been a physically exhausting and emotionally draining time.
Let’s be clear: doping is a global issue that has cast a shadow over athletics in many countries. So if some Russian athletes have failed doping tests, why must Russia’s clean athletes face a ban? Why shouldn’t we be able to compete in Rio against the clean athletes from other countries in Rio?
After all, at their heart, the Games are about individuals, not nations. As Pierre de Coubertin, the father of the modern Olympics, said, “The Olympic Games were created for the exaltation of the individual athlete.” The I.A.A.F. should not punish all of us for the wrongdoing of some.
There have been suggestions that I compete under the I.O.C. flag. But this doesn’t seem like a real possibility. If I compete, it will be as a Russian. If the entire Russian team is suspended, I will be suspended, too.
As someone who has founded a charity aimed at encouraging children to get involved in sports, I know how important the Games are for inspiring the next generation of athletes. Russia’s children need heroes. Banning me and my fellow athletes from the Olympics would not just be devastating to us, but would also set back our efforts to inspire young people. I am determined not to miss the chance to achieve my Olympic dream. And I will fight for my right to help the next generation achieve theirs.
Yelena Isinbaeva is a two-time Olympic gold medalist and seven-time world champion in the pole vault.